I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Randomize
