I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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