We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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