Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
