And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think your dad took our porno
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
