she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We left the knife in your bed.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize