you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry my hands just texted you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
