In America we eat man semen.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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