The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
