one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
