ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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