How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
