He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
