Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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