You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
