Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I love you. Go after that dick
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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