Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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