i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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