Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
