Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
