Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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