I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
