we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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