Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
