it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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