I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
