Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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