I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
