it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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