it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
