i think i have herpe
just one?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
