Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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