hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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