there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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