Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize