I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
