Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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