The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
