Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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