They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
