Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
