My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
