i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
