Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
