I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
