FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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