why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
