marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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