Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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