Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
