Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
