I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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