i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
