He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
