this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
