Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
