Sry I called you an 8
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
