it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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