So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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